21 Comments

Brilliant. One question, though. How is the SEO on this? I want my self-gratification to be highly searchable, especially my wearing of a Guy Fawkes mask while digitally oscillating myself around a bonfire. Input appreciated.

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Good question! Mask_Turbate_PRO gives you complete control over your SEO settings. The world cannot be deprived of Guy Fawkes oscillating around a bonfire.

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Signing up soon.

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No lie, last week my husband was trying to convince me to start an OF where I cook in nothing but an apron. I was worried about the lack of anonymity and now all my problems are solved! Who do I pick? Go with the obvious Giada De Laurentiis? Or maybe I put the wham in BAM with some Emeril daddy kink?

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No need to choose! Sign up for Mask_Turbate_PRO and you can do both! Our analytic team has reported a recent surge in Emeril Lagasse kinks so it sounds like you've stumbled into a potential lucrative niche.

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I can't believe my luck! Take all my money!

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Dear Dr Tess,

You are in violation of my patented Jizz-Jenerator (TM) system for generating horny avatars. Consider this a cease-and-desist letter or else my sex-starved lawyers will come round your apartment and have their wicked way with you. Which will be filmed for my own specialized Attorney-at-Ass Channel.

Regards

Gherlaine P. Mouthpeace

Pres & CEO Thirsty Enterprises Inc

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Cant wait to see this become reality in *checks watch* a few months?

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It may already be here! I imagine if people use it, they would keep that shit on the down low

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Hey Will, I know I don't know you very well, but do you have, uh, $5.98 I can borrow? I'm good for it, I swear.

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No need! It just so happens that I know the developer of Mask_Turbate. I’ll have him get you PRO on the house!!

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amazing!

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Bravo! What a world this would be! It's coming. Or should I say, cumming?

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Haha! The cumming is inevitable

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Take my money!

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$$$$$$$

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Heads off to sign up…. A way I can actually work from my sick bed… the possibilities are endless!

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Haha every room can be the office

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This made me chuckle! Very good copy for Mask_Turbate!

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Haha! Thanks for reading!

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Love love love. What’s not to love about this post?

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