Oh this one is a heart-stopper. I became tearful as I read about the kid admitting to understanding what his dad did to Helen; then my eyes started to leak when the child was locked up alone in the room all night. Wow, the beautiful way that you write in a vernacular style is haunting and precise; the language felt reminiscent of the first lines of The Sound and the Fury by Faulkner (that’s high praise in my book.) The kid’s voice feels heart-wrenching and devastatingly true. I’m kinda at a loss for words because this broke my heart and took my breath away. Absolutely worthy of the contest prize I think. Thank you for sharing this haunting story of familial loss, decay, and heartache. Phenomenal writing!
man i was doing reasonably okay until 'scramby eggs'. now that i've finished it i feel unsettled, happy to have read this, and in awe of the creativity, all at once
even foots, all the childlike talk, honestly. (i'm not a native speaker so i'm not too familiar with children's english, maybe it sounds even more innocent to me than to others)
It’s almost as if your original piece was pregnant with these additional bits all along! Thank you for birthing her. The Voice makes me feel like I’m watching it all unfold across the street as I strain one eye through a small rip in an opaque curtain. I can’t make out the details but something is going terribly wrong. Chills!! Congrats on MUCH deserved recognition!!
The only thing I can say is that this story made me ache. Not in a way I'm eager to return to, but in a way that will stay with me a long, long time. I mean that as the highest of compliments, having only ever said it before of Morrison's "Beloved."
wow, Sara! Thank you so very much! Indeed, I felt that “ache” as well. I think that’s why I had a version of it (without the murder) in February and didn’t touch it for months
Goddamn, Will. Your ability to write in such a specific voice never fails to blow me away. This one felt like a gut-punch (in the best way). You’re insanely good. 🫶🏻
I think Body’s Want was one of the first things of yours that I ever read, it made me so unbelievably sad and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’ve done an amazing job fleshing it out even further, and it’s somehow even more heartbreaking. You keep blowing me away, Will!
Thanks so much Bob! It stuck with me too, not sure where this voice comes from but I think the expanded version here complements it and, yes, makes it quite sad.
Love your use of language in this. Really does a fantastic job of bringing us into the mind of the MC. Got me thinking about if this is how my Toddler thinks, outside of the murder part. haha
You should be a household name. Not playing around.
shit, that means a great deal coming from you my friend
GODDAMN IT HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS!! 🤬🔥🔥
crippling anxiety + inhuman amounts of caffeine
Such a writer response 😂
Oh this one is a heart-stopper. I became tearful as I read about the kid admitting to understanding what his dad did to Helen; then my eyes started to leak when the child was locked up alone in the room all night. Wow, the beautiful way that you write in a vernacular style is haunting and precise; the language felt reminiscent of the first lines of The Sound and the Fury by Faulkner (that’s high praise in my book.) The kid’s voice feels heart-wrenching and devastatingly true. I’m kinda at a loss for words because this broke my heart and took my breath away. Absolutely worthy of the contest prize I think. Thank you for sharing this haunting story of familial loss, decay, and heartache. Phenomenal writing!
Thank you Jessica! Faulkner was top of mind when I wrote this, it is an honor to be in the same breath as him lol thank you so much :)
man i was doing reasonably okay until 'scramby eggs'. now that i've finished it i feel unsettled, happy to have read this, and in awe of the creativity, all at once
ducky time got me when I was writing it
even foots, all the childlike talk, honestly. (i'm not a native speaker so i'm not too familiar with children's english, maybe it sounds even more innocent to me than to others)
you are making me hold back tears at work, Will. I don't even know how to characterize this piece. it's a bomb. I think it should be everywhere
wow, molly, thank you so much! “a bomb” sounds about right, it hit me too when I was writing it
It’s almost as if your original piece was pregnant with these additional bits all along! Thank you for birthing her. The Voice makes me feel like I’m watching it all unfold across the street as I strain one eye through a small rip in an opaque curtain. I can’t make out the details but something is going terribly wrong. Chills!! Congrats on MUCH deserved recognition!!
Thanks so much! Always appreciate you :)
The only thing I can say is that this story made me ache. Not in a way I'm eager to return to, but in a way that will stay with me a long, long time. I mean that as the highest of compliments, having only ever said it before of Morrison's "Beloved."
wow, Sara! Thank you so very much! Indeed, I felt that “ache” as well. I think that’s why I had a version of it (without the murder) in February and didn’t touch it for months
Wow! Really powerful, Will.
Thanks, Michael :)
All the sensory details really make this piece feel like a Body experiencing itself and its world. The story is alive.
Thanks Jon hopefully the world isn’t too harsh on your body
I’ve done all the hard work already
Superb
Thanks Scott!
So cool to see the evolution of this. I loved the first one, this was even better.
thanks Clancy!
Goddamn, Will. Your ability to write in such a specific voice never fails to blow me away. This one felt like a gut-punch (in the best way). You’re insanely good. 🫶🏻
thank you <3
I think Body’s Want was one of the first things of yours that I ever read, it made me so unbelievably sad and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’ve done an amazing job fleshing it out even further, and it’s somehow even more heartbreaking. You keep blowing me away, Will!
Thanks so much Bob! It stuck with me too, not sure where this voice comes from but I think the expanded version here complements it and, yes, makes it quite sad.
Well done as always. For the first few times I read Body as the singular of Bodies and thought it was a quirky self reference lol
Thanks! I’m not sure where the Body name came from
Excellent story. You fully pulled this off.
Thank you for the kind words, Sandolore!
Love your use of language in this. Really does a fantastic job of bringing us into the mind of the MC. Got me thinking about if this is how my Toddler thinks, outside of the murder part. haha
Great stuff!
Thanks Nick! Yeah there is the whole innocence thing and then poof, some violent murder