Yeah this was solid. The movement and pacing kept me wanting to scroll faster and faster to get the next email. And then that ending...hits hard. Could be a story from a sad memoir. Wonderfully done and thanks for sharing!
I love this so much. so absurd how these horrible things happen and ripple through people - how they have a butterfly effect on our neighbors, our friends... The ending reminds me of how time never stops you know? How the crazy neighbor is in his apartment, living that day over and over, and meanwhile outside bad things still happen. And we process all of it by talking to each other. the conversational format only makes it MORE human on top of that. Bravo bravo bravo.
Damn, I never thought about the idea of timing being stopped for the dude in 3110. I see it so clearly now. Thanks for pointing that out and for the very kind words :)
Will, I loved lemons. You were so clever to have several plains of action going simultaneously with the creepy 9/11 guy taking center stage. I could see this developed into a full scale movie with a little more development of this miserable guy and his 9/11 fetish. So well developed and written. One of your best.
I don’t liked to swear in comments (for some reason)... but fuck Will! This had me on the edge of my seat. I had know idea where you was going with it, but I was soooo intrigued. And the way you had this one story going about the 9-11 guy and then ended it with this other story that seemed sort of in the background was brilliant. As was the tone, like having it in text form.
Bravo sir. One of the best short stories I’ve read in a while :)
wow!! Thanks so much, Michael! This one was new territory for me and i wasn't sure how it would play off for the reader so your feedback means so much!
A very enjoyable read. And that ending...masterful use of the short story format to twist the digger right there in such an unexpected way. And the leave us with a zillion questions. And not to answer them. And that's the whole point.
As a writer I also took note and loved how you used the Substack formatting options here. An innovative use of code block to great effect.
Definitely. I first saw it used in Dracula Daily and it have me an idea for how I want to use it in my own upcoming novel which I'm serializing here on Substack too.
FYI: I came to your piece today from the "Top in Fiction" Stack :)
I just have to say WOW! This is quite masterful, Will. The obsession with another person's obsession from the perspective of the initially unwilling voyeur trying to figure it out, to a shocking reveal the writer doesn't expect at all. To the ending. Very impressed with this one. (I just wrote a piece in letters - seems to be a thing we are vibing on this week).
I want to read the piece you wrote in letters! It was the first time I did anything like this and I found it to be really fun and (I think) effective in how it personalizes the weird plot. Thanks so much for the kind words :)
Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk (I DO like to swear in the comments) Will!!!!! This might be one of the most riveting pieces I’ve read since I’m Thinking of Ending Things. I want this published and sitting on my night stand. I request you record an audio pretty please. This is particularly scrumptious because 1. I HAVE a neighbor who did crazy shit like punch a waste management worker and get arrested and put conspiracy signs all up over his yard and walk around the neighborhood to leave (a) piles of garden stakes on everyone’s porches and then (b) leave fairy lights lantern jars on our sidewalks. I may or may not have obsessed over this and followed his court case online 😳 2. I kid you not, I spent this 9/11 evening watching footage including a YouTube of “18 angles of second plane” or whatever. I have no idea why I was compelled to do this other than reliving the shock to see if I still had feelings??? Some form of mental cutting?? (I promise you, I’m not crazy! I’m not the neighbor I just described!!) But your lemon metaphor makes me feel like perhaps that’s what I was doing instead (because it’s SO TRUE and I remember going to a neighborhood candlelight vigil with my mom before all hell broke loose and the next thing we know Tr*mp is elected as president). In any case, I’m just beside myself about this piece of yours… please enter it in stuff! And I wasn’t kidding about the audio… though you’d have to stretch those voice acting skills of yours!
Damn thanks so much Katie!! I don’t think I’ve had a neighbor that crazy but I’ve had my fair share of crazies haha I’m so glad it resonated with you and I was actually thinking about doing a voice over haha maybe I’ll add that in when I have some time next week to warm up my pipes
Yeah this was solid. The movement and pacing kept me wanting to scroll faster and faster to get the next email. And then that ending...hits hard. Could be a story from a sad memoir. Wonderfully done and thanks for sharing!
thanks, Bryan!
I love this so much. so absurd how these horrible things happen and ripple through people - how they have a butterfly effect on our neighbors, our friends... The ending reminds me of how time never stops you know? How the crazy neighbor is in his apartment, living that day over and over, and meanwhile outside bad things still happen. And we process all of it by talking to each other. the conversational format only makes it MORE human on top of that. Bravo bravo bravo.
Damn, I never thought about the idea of timing being stopped for the dude in 3110. I see it so clearly now. Thanks for pointing that out and for the very kind words :)
Will, I loved lemons. You were so clever to have several plains of action going simultaneously with the creepy 9/11 guy taking center stage. I could see this developed into a full scale movie with a little more development of this miserable guy and his 9/11 fetish. So well developed and written. One of your best.
Thanks so much, Sandy! Always love hearing from you my friend
I don’t liked to swear in comments (for some reason)... but fuck Will! This had me on the edge of my seat. I had know idea where you was going with it, but I was soooo intrigued. And the way you had this one story going about the 9-11 guy and then ended it with this other story that seemed sort of in the background was brilliant. As was the tone, like having it in text form.
Bravo sir. One of the best short stories I’ve read in a while :)
wow!! Thanks so much, Michael! This one was new territory for me and i wasn't sure how it would play off for the reader so your feedback means so much!
My pleasure, Will.
I really liked it. :)
the format of one-sided emails is heartbreaking enough. will, what the hell.
Really? I’ve never tried it before, figured I’d give it a go…thanks so much for the feedback, means a lot :)
Like another commenter said, very riveting. I don't think I've ever read something in this format before! Certainly not this grabbing. I love it!
Thank you, Valletta!! I’m glad the format didn’t take away from the story…I was worried it could come of as a gimmick.
Incredible stuff! What a brilliant way to experiment with form. And the odd poetic bits that burst through the rambl-y messages; haunting. Loved it.
Thanks so much Anagha!
A very enjoyable read. And that ending...masterful use of the short story format to twist the digger right there in such an unexpected way. And the leave us with a zillion questions. And not to answer them. And that's the whole point.
As a writer I also took note and loved how you used the Substack formatting options here. An innovative use of code block to great effect.
Thanks so much, Sue! I’ve always wanted to use the code block feature haha I’m glad it added something to the piece
Definitely. I first saw it used in Dracula Daily and it have me an idea for how I want to use it in my own upcoming novel which I'm serializing here on Substack too.
FYI: I came to your piece today from the "Top in Fiction" Stack :)
I just have to say WOW! This is quite masterful, Will. The obsession with another person's obsession from the perspective of the initially unwilling voyeur trying to figure it out, to a shocking reveal the writer doesn't expect at all. To the ending. Very impressed with this one. (I just wrote a piece in letters - seems to be a thing we are vibing on this week).
I want to read the piece you wrote in letters! It was the first time I did anything like this and I found it to be really fun and (I think) effective in how it personalizes the weird plot. Thanks so much for the kind words :)
"you okay??? I tried calling like three times...
Sent from my iPhone
???
Sent from my iPhone"
...brilliant
Thanks, Anna!
Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk (I DO like to swear in the comments) Will!!!!! This might be one of the most riveting pieces I’ve read since I’m Thinking of Ending Things. I want this published and sitting on my night stand. I request you record an audio pretty please. This is particularly scrumptious because 1. I HAVE a neighbor who did crazy shit like punch a waste management worker and get arrested and put conspiracy signs all up over his yard and walk around the neighborhood to leave (a) piles of garden stakes on everyone’s porches and then (b) leave fairy lights lantern jars on our sidewalks. I may or may not have obsessed over this and followed his court case online 😳 2. I kid you not, I spent this 9/11 evening watching footage including a YouTube of “18 angles of second plane” or whatever. I have no idea why I was compelled to do this other than reliving the shock to see if I still had feelings??? Some form of mental cutting?? (I promise you, I’m not crazy! I’m not the neighbor I just described!!) But your lemon metaphor makes me feel like perhaps that’s what I was doing instead (because it’s SO TRUE and I remember going to a neighborhood candlelight vigil with my mom before all hell broke loose and the next thing we know Tr*mp is elected as president). In any case, I’m just beside myself about this piece of yours… please enter it in stuff! And I wasn’t kidding about the audio… though you’d have to stretch those voice acting skills of yours!
Damn thanks so much Katie!! I don’t think I’ve had a neighbor that crazy but I’ve had my fair share of crazies haha I’m so glad it resonated with you and I was actually thinking about doing a voice over haha maybe I’ll add that in when I have some time next week to warm up my pipes
Yeeeeep, you’ve had your fair share!
Again PLEASE DO!
Man. This is what I'm here for. Always gutting me in new ways. That ending.
thanks, Sean! the ending is quite (dare I say)…sour
It's a quiet shout.
I need to take 8-10 days off from work to contemplate this one will. incredibly compelling, creative, twisted and devastating. (loved it)
take all the time you need. I'll speak to your supervisor and make them approve the time off
That's such a great way to tell a story. Loved this!
thanks so much, Deirdre!!
This is one hell of a short story!
WHOA. What a ride. I loved this format!!
thanks so much, Julia!