What is Heavy is the Headset?

In addition to being a mediocre riff on the cliche “heavy is the head that wears the crown,” Heavy is the Headset is essentially a hodgepodge of creations chronicling two threads.

Thread #1: Ever seen that movie Whiplash? The one with the intense drummer practicing religiously until his hands bled? That used to be me. Music was my identity. In adolescence, I withdrew from social life in order to practice! practice! practice!—often to a clinically obsessive degree. I’ve graduated Summa Cum Laude from an elite conservatory and hold a Ph.D. in Music Composition. I’ve done what I’ve set out to do, only to find it no longer “sparks joy.” I had some early success, but my career never took off; I spent all my savings trying to make it work, and—when the time came to cut my losses—I (thankfully) stumbled backward into social work. Specifically, I’ve been answering calls in a crisis call center for the past two years. Every morning when I dawn my too-tight plastic headset, it is heavy with the grief of this dead passion.

Thread #2: Crisis phone work is a strange and challenging occupation that is often thankless. The work takes a mental and physical toll on those of us who do it daily. I find it immensely fulfilling and sociologically interesting, but it’s a line of work I never saw myself pursuing; if high school me got a load of what current me is up to, he’d be gobsmacked. Back then, I was the quiet, afraid-to-show-vulnerability loner who—when observing someone in need—adhered to the Holy Trinity of individualistic creeds: “That’s their problem!,” “What can ya do?",” and “Everybody for themselves!” This project serves as a candid documentation of the toll this work is taking on me and what I learn about empathy, hope, and struggle as I move forward.

I try to post —short stories, self-reflective journals, musings, essays, poems, songs, etc.—at least twice a month. I can’t make any promises.

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